


Hold On, I Still Need You

by Volerian



Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst with a Happy Ending, F/F, General Danvers Week
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-07
Updated: 2017-07-07
Packaged: 2018-11-28 21:38:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,447
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11426694
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Volerian/pseuds/Volerian
Summary: Alex is falling apart after having killed Astra or so she thought. Astra arrives back in National City after some help from and unexpected source only to find her Brave One in dire straits.





	Hold On, I Still Need You

_Hold on, I still want you_   
_Come back, I still need you_   
_Let me take your hand, I'll make it right_   
_I swear to love you all my life_

_Hold On- Chord Overstreet_

 

 

Alex was struggling to hold on but in the rush of daily life no one seemed to notice her pain. Not that she would ever admit it should someone ask. She was stalwart and steadfast. She stood against the rushing tide of her emotions each day while waves battered her.

 

It was bad enough that the guilt of Astra's death ate away at her. Now to realize she was gay and that she had harbored unspoken feelings for the lost General had shaken her to the core.

 

She had tried to move past it with Maggie whom she really enjoyed and could possibly even see herself falling in love with eventually. Yet that wasn't to be either. Maggie had been gentle with her let down but it still stung because she never put herself out there when feelings were involved. Not like that anyways.

 

Kara, sweet Kara, had been nothing but supportive when she had come out. She had been like a steady rock in the storm. Although now that rock seemed to be slipping away as her sister relished in her new found friendship with Lena Luthor.

 

Alex couldn't fault Kara for any of that. She was happy that her sister was making new friends and moving forward in life.

 

Alex felt like she was stuck in one position the world moving forward without her. Stuck in a nightmare she couldn't escape from.

 

The only person who might even understand the inner turmoil she was suffering through was J'onn but she had ducked him at every turn. He would have to corner her to get through to the stubborn Agent if she had her way.

 

She had taken to coping the only way she knew how and that was with alcohol. Alex would never admit it but she had a problem with drinking. No one ever saw it because she hid it well but soon one drink became two and two became three until nights bled together and weeks faded by.

 

At work she took more risks, putting herself on the front lines and directly in the line of fire. She went full tilt into every mission, giving it her all wanting to lose herself in something as the drink never seemed to do what she wanted.

 

She wanted to feel something more, something other than this pervasive pain that constantly radiated from her chest. Never had she thought that someone could die from a broken heart but as time passed it became a startling possibility. If not from that then someday a slip up would cause her to lose it all.

 

That day would come much sooner than she might think.

 

* * *

 

Alex stumbled in the door, her vision wavering as she hears it thud closed behind her. Shakily she touches her side and winces in pain, the agony of it ripping through her. Though its blurred she sees the red of her own blood coating her hand yet she can't find it in herself to really care. Stumbling into the kitchen she grabs the nearest bottle of liquor which is in a cabinet above her head. The motion of getting it down leaves her breathless and aching but the bottle in her hand feels right.

 

As Alex makes her way to the bathroom taking swigs from the bottle of whiskey she tries to remember what had happened that had left her injured and how no one had noticed.

 

They had gone up against a rouge bunch of aliens from Fort Rozz who were still following Non's plans even though he was gone. The battle was vicious but Alex relished in the fighting as it gave her something to live for.

 

She stumbles as she remembers it, the sword slicing through her Kevlar biting deep into her side and then being swept down along her hip. Breathing deeply she steadies herself against the wall, leaving a bloody smear behind before moving to the bathroom.

 

Her strength is failing her as she goes to sit on the floor after turning and locking the door and she all but collapses. The bottle clatters to the floor but doesn't break.

 

She takes a moment to breath things coming to her slowly. Her fingers wrap around the bottle and drag it to sit in her lap.

 

Alex wants to drink but she can't help but think of Astra in this moment. She knows she is dying here, the cold slowly stealing in and robbing her of her heat. She could call for help, could call for Kara but a part of her blames herself and thinks that the world might be better off without her.

 

With a trembling hand she uncaps the bottle and drinks a swallow, the alcohol burning and then the bottle tumbles to the floor as she no longer has the strength to hold it.

 

She shivers and the pain is all she can feel but that is fading even now. Her vision grows dark.

 

She doesn't hear the screams, hear as the door to the bathroom shatters under super strength. She doesn't see the pain and anguish in hazel green eyes as they take in her broken body.

 

Doesn't hear the broken whisper of, “Please don't leave me.”

 

* * *

 

Astra had known something was wrong and yet finding Alex like that lingering at deaths door. She had pulled the woman to her and felt her faint heartbeat. Acting on instinct she gathered Alex in her arms and was off like a shot, not caring about being seen.

 

Touching down at the DEO she places Alex in the doctors capable hands. She watches as they took her away on a stretcher and she is left to pace back and forth.

 

Astra is still there when Kara comes in having been called when Alex was brought in.

 

“Astra?” Kara's words are a shocked whisper.

 

 

“Yes Little One, it is me.”

 

 

Kara smiles as tears fill her eyes and she rushes forward wrapping Astra in a tight hug.

 

“Thank you. I won't ask how you knew but I'm so grateful.”

 

 

Astra pulls back because she doesn't want to admit her love for Alex when she hasn't even told the woman in question. “I need no thanks. She was dying and I think she had been dying for some time before this however slowly it might have been. When I found her she was at peace with it. I was helpless and did what I could. I only hope it is enough.”

 

 

They turn when a throat clears behind them. J'onn is standing there hands clasped behind his back looking between the two of them. “General Astra In-Ze, I am grateful for what you've done today. You've helped save one of our own despite your history with this establishment.”

 

 

Astra bristles, “I am a General no more, and I will not punish all for the actions of a few. As for what I have done today, I only did what another would have.”

 

 

J'onn raises an eyebrow but does not comment, instead he chooses to ask Kara to follow him, leaving Astra to sit in silence waiting for some word on Alex. It is as if he knows her feelings but that would be ridiculous as Martians are unable to read Kryptonians.

 

 

Sitting and waiting is the hardest part. She knows she could listen in on what is happening but spares herself the heartache. Instead Astra lets her mind wander.

 

 

She can remember the void of space, being trapped in her own coffin while her body restored itself. The only thing that kept her going was Alexandra, her Brave One. Her voice seemed to be carried to her on a breeze or maybe Astra imagined it all. Yet hearing Alex call for her kept her going. And after what seemed like ages her pod descended back to Earth, pulled down by gravity.

 

 

Her subsequent crash landing to Earth was a bit jarring but stepping from the wreck of her pod brought with it another surprise. Upon exiting she expected to find herself alone where ever she had landed. Yet a hand is reaching down to help her from the still smoking pile. She looks up and meets warm brown eyes and her heart squeezes painfully as she thinks of Alex.

 

 

Letting this person help her she is once again upon solid ground. She lets her eyes rake over him for a moment but then he is moving, shoving a bag into her hands.

 

 

“You need to leave, if they find you they won't ever let you go.”

 

 

Astra's eyes widen and then narrow, her body going rigid, ready for a fight. “Who are those that wish to imprison me and what has endeared me to you that you would risk yourself?”

 

 

She watches as a small sad smile quirks this mans lips.

 

 

“You don't deserve what they would do to you. They know you have a connection to Supergirl.”

 

 

Astra startles, “How have you come to know this?”

 

 

“I work for them.”

 

 

Astra sees red and moves back from him in a burst of speed. She only stops however when she hears what else he has to say.

 

 

“Its not my choice, I would be anywhere but here if I could.”

 

 

She notices something about him then that rings familiar but can't quite place it. “What is your name?”

 

 

The man straightens and meets her eyes, the brow light by the dying flames from the crash and the moon overhead.

 

“Jeremiah Danvers.”

 

 

Astra freezes and can barely get out her question. “Alexandra is your daughter?”

 

 

The man she now knows as Jeremiah looks at her in shock and goes to say something in response but a noise has his head jerking to the horizon.

 

“Go! They are coming and I can't save you from them.”

 

 

She can see his fear and nods in agreement and thanks before gathering herself and flying off to where ever her heart may lead.

 

 

Her heart lead her back to National City and her Brave One. She watched her from the shadows, not daring to approach lest she alert those people who had wanted to capture her.

 

Shaking her head she pulls herself from her memories only to find Kara standing in front of her. It takes all she has not to startle and she kicks herself for letting her guard down so easily.

 

 

“She's stable and I think she would like it if you were there when she woke up.”

 

Astra says nothing, merely raises an eyebrow at Kara's words.

 

 

“She cares about you, and it killed her when you died. I think she loved you but never admitted it to herself.”

 

 

“Little One why are you telling me this?”

 

 

Kara fiddles with her glasses for a moment before straightening and meeting her Aunts gaze. “I'm telling you because enough time has already been wasted. You don't know how much time you have, no one does. So if she makes you happy tell her.”

 

Neither one says anything after Kara's blurted confession. Instead the young superhero turns and leads her Aunt to her sister's bedside and leaves giving them some space.

 

Astra pulls a chair close to her bedside sitting and watching over the woman who owns her heart.

 

* * *

 

 

Alex woke in slight pain but pain was good because it meant she was alive. However upon opening her eyes her only thought was that she was dead because Astra was sitting next to her. Apparently the morphine or whatever drug she was on meant she had no filter because those words tumbled from her mouth.

 

 

Astra was smiling at her, “I am so glad to see you awake.”

 

 

The normally stoic agent can't really hold it together however and proceeds to blurt out, “How are you here? I killed you.”

 

 

Astra smiles sadly, “If you had killed me I would not be in this room with you now. I was close to death, enough that Kara and Non thought me dead as well. Your yellow sun healed the wound I had sustained and soon after my pod was dragged back into Earths orbit and I plummeted to the ground. I would not be here with you now had a courageous man not helped me when I crashed. I believe he did so with great sacrifice. Your father is so much like you Brave One. I would have stayed to help but he ordered me to flee. He is the reason why I was able to help you and the reason you are here today.”

 

 

Alex can't help but cry in complete and utter shock at learning that her father is alive, and had inadvertently helped saver her own life by making sure Astra was safe.

 

“Did he say anything about me?”

 

 

Astra shakes her head sadly, “No I am afraid the impending arrival cut our conversation short.”

Alex sinks back into the bed, closing her eyes against her tears. She feels warmth on her cheek and feels the bed dip next to her. Her eyes open to find Astra sitting next to her providing what comfort she can.

 

“I swear to you that I will do whatever is in my power to reunite you with him. You have my word Alexandra.”

 

 

Alex can't help but smile at the other woman's use of her full name. “I love you.” Her eyes widen and she curses her loose tongue but the words she knows are true.

 

 

She watches as Astra's eyes glaze over with tears.

 

 

“I love you as well Brave One, I think I always have.”

 

 

Alex moves then ignoring the pain in her side as she connects her lips with Astra's. It is a chaste and simple kiss, a mere brush of the lips but with a promise of more to come.

 

 

When she pulls back both of them are smiling widely.

 

 

Even though Alex knows that they have a lot to talk about, especially with all that has happened and what Astra has revealed about her father, she also knows that she won't be alone. She knows in her heart that Astra will be with her every step of the way.

 

The Brave One and her General. She giggles at the thought but she loves it.

 

Alex shifts in the hospital bed moving so that Astra can climb in next to her. They can talk more in the morning but for now she wants nothing more than to fall asleep with the woman her heart has yearned for for so long.

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> It has been a while since I've written anything but I love this ship so damn much that I thought I'd give it a shot. I hope it wasn't too horrid and that you guys enjoyed it.


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